Probably one of the most basic and most misunderstood skills to achieve great success is to have the unique ability to really ‘listen’ to others.
Having excellent listening skills is critical for all your relationships, starting with your spouse (or boyfriend/girlfriend), your children, and your parents. It is also one of the most critical skills to develop to be successful in any type of business, so you can achieve your dreams.Over the years I have heard many excellent speakers, but very few excellent listeners. And when I think back, it was the listeners who developed the relationships that lasted for years, which brought them the long-term success.
You may think, listening is easy, I listen all the time, it’s no problem.
But trust me, it is hard work to really stay focused and to respectfully ‘listen’ and really ‘hear’ what is being said to you…. just like now, you are reading these words, but are you really listening, are you really concentrating on what the words are saying and are you really listening for the keys that can make a difference in your life?
Years ago I was invited to attend a personal development seminar for two days just to teach me the ‘importance’ and ‘how’ to listen properly. When I first got there I thought this will be easy I can just sit and relax, it won’t be any work at all. But what I learned is that real listening is indeed work and the better I learned to really listen… the better my understanding, my perceptions, my reality, my abilities, my knowledge, my sensitivities, my opportunities and as a result of listening… the better my quality of life.
In our busy lives you probably find few times that anyone ever stays focused, is not rushed, and listens carefully to what you are saying. Imagine how empowered you would feel if someone asked you a question, and the just ‘listened’ to you respond with total focus, total objectivity, without interrupting you, and without implying they already knew what you were saying. Now imagine how empowered you could make other people feel if you asked them an important question, and then you remained 100% focused on their response. You didn’t interrupt them, you didn’t look away, you didn’t try to get away, you didn’t even check your phone for messages. This would be the most empowering thing you can do for another person and it is something they are probably not accustomed to experiencing. This will likely gain you their trust, their confidence and their respect.
I highly recommend you make appointments to speak with all the people that are important to you, and set aside 30-40 minutes just to listen to them like no one has probably ever listened to them before. Ask them a few questions to really learn what is important to them. Chances are if you really listen and let them do all the talking, they will probably go away from the meeting thinking you were one of the smartest people they ever spoke with !
I think this is probably the first and most important step in the road to achieving the quality of life you want from achieving success in Interush, or anything you ever do in your life, including your relationships with your business associates, your friends, your family and with the love of your life.
You need to learn to listen now only with your ears, but also with your eyes, plus with your mind, and very importantly with your heart.
In everything you do, I think you are going to find that your success will come from your ability to succeed in dealing with other people and the most important part of this, is first of all, to know how to listen to these people you want to deal with, and from really listening, you gain tremendous insights into their needs, their concerns, their hopes and dreams, and then you can be a better ‘partner’ to help this person. And when you help others succeed, you will be helping yourself succeed too.
Martin J. Matthews